Monday Update

My GoWear Fit device is scheduled for delivery on Thursday. Should I skip work that day so that I can be home when it arrives? Just kidding!

My back feels different. I can't explain it, except to say that it no longer hurts the same way as it did. I'm not sure if it'll take time for my body to be 'over' the hormones from the IUD, or if just removing the offending device has made a difference or not. Basically, the pain is less sharp and now it feels more like it's due to a weak back (and weak core muscles). We went for a 35 mile ride on Saturday. It was a GREAT ride, actually. The weather was perfect. We started out with a tail wind for a bit and then some rolling hills. We picked up another rider for awhile and tried to keep up. My husband could have ridden at his pace no problem, but I was having issues. I had no trouble keeping up on the flats or downhills, but as soon as we had any elevation to climb, I dropped off the back. It was so obvious that my husband even commented on it. My response? Well, duh! I'm 30 lbs heavier...it's going to take a lot of muscle building to compensate for the extra weight...or a lot of weight loss to get back to where I was! I'm planning on a little of both! Anyway, I've noticed that my back hurts most (on bike) when I'm pushing hard (climbing, sprinting, into a headwind, etc). Unfortunately for me, the last 12 miles of our ride was into a nasty headwind! We were pushing VERY hard and going, at best, about 12 mph. It was awful! When we got back home, I actually yelped in pain as I dismounted my bike. Wow...talk about a sore back!

I'm pretty sure that this can be improved with core strengthening. I've seriously slacked off on this effort - so my hope is that with some focused improvement, I can make a difference in this area. Because of the back pain though, I opted out of weight training. I'll be doing a workout this evening though since my back is much better today.

New outlook and new toys

I had my appointment with my new doc yesterday afternoon and it went well. I am IUD free!

I had a LONG talk with him about my weight gain and my struggles to lose weight. I also mentioned how, even before I got my IUD, it was exceedingly difficult for me to lose weight. More so that it should have been based on my level of fitness and fatness at the time (as assessed by fitness professionals...not just by me!). So he took blood for a thyroid test even though I'm sure that I'm fine. In our conversation, the whole calories in vs calories out question came up. Yes, in theory, this makes sense. The problem I have with this...how do we really know the 'calories out' part of the equation? I mean think about it...if you have an equation with two unknowns, how in the world can you solve it? You can't. Period.

Calories in - calories out = weight loss (simplified, of course)

Calories in: known. It's easy to track - weigh the foods, write down everything, etc.
Calories out: unknown. In just about every situation, this is a guesstimate based on the general population. What if a person isn't like the 'general population'? And how do we figure this out?
weight loss: unknown. Again - you can estimate this if you know the two pieces on the other side of the equation...but if those are also estimates, then it is entirely possible that your whole calculation is flat out wrong.

I've always felt that estimates were a poor substitute for real data. AND, I'm pretty sure that I don't fit the 'typical' mold. I think this for two reasons. 1) I discovered that I have a naturally very low resting heart rate, low blood pressure, and a low max HR. When I workout, my aerobic HR is significantly lower than other people I workout/ride with. Significantly - even when I am out of shape. This tells me that any calorie burn estimated based on HR is going to be off. 2) I had my RMR tested by breathing into a device a few years back. It came out VERY low and at the time I was extremely fit. Even the fitness professionals were confused by it.

These two things make me wonder if normal 'estimates' for calorie burn are going to be accurate enough for me. So...watching the Biggest Loser got me thinking about it and then some posts on one of the fitness forums I hang out on sealed the deal. I ordered the GoWear Fit device today. This is a device that measures daily calorie burn by using a combination of heat sensors and motion sensors. Studies have shown the accuracy to be quite good. It's similar to the BodyBugg worn by the Biggest Loser contestants but it's not tied into 24-hour fitness like the BodyBugg is...they are both actually made by the same company. Anyway, I ordered it this afternoon and I can't wait to get it so that I can start learning how my body REALLY burns calories. I am willing to bet that I'm not 'typical' and that my calorie burn is either alarmingly low or freakishly high. We'll see when it gets here!

In the meantime, I'm feeling way more positive with the IUD out. I feel like I finally have a fighting chance at losing this weight now! To that end, I decided to start logging my food at Fitday again (at least until the GoWear Fit gets here and I start using their logging software) and I have plans to workout tonight. My back is also feeling better, though that could just be coincidence. Either way, I'll take it! ;-)

More back pain

As I mentioned in my last post, my IUD has been giving me back trouble. In the past few days, it's gotten quite bad. To compound the problem, I opted to go for a bike ride on Sunday even though my back was hurting. That made it worse and I've had to take a few days off from any activity.

The good news is that I have an appointment with a new doctor tomorrow. My hope is that I can convince him to take the IUD out then and there. Since the flare up of my back, I've done some additional reading about the side-effects of the Mirena. It's actually pretty mind-boggling. Not only the back pain and the weight gain...but reduced sex drive, bad skin, moodiness, fuzzy thinking, migraines, etc....lucky for me, the worst part of my issue has been only weight gain and back pain. And to be honest, I've got this giddy feeling inside of me at the thought that my weight struggle can be explained. And even more so at the possibility that removing this tiny device could reverse this situation! How exciting would it be to get my old body back? Of course, with this change comes my own responsibility to eat right and exercise...and to apply myself diligently inorder to get to my goals before I turn 44. I was just informed last night that my mother started menopause at 44 so I should be prepared for the same. Lovely. ;-)

Hormones

I did my CLX Burn#1 workout on Wednesday night. Considering that I'd not worked out in the previous 3-4 weeks, it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I managed to use all the same weights and even though I sweated buckets, I didn't feel like I'd over done it or anything. It actually felt really good.

On Thursday, I was really sore so I took a rest day. While that doesn't fit my plan...it does fit my life and this isn't just about following some predetermined training plan. It's also about making some real life changes. Anyway, today (Friday) I'll do CLX Burn #2. The weekend is a bit up in the air as I will be riding at least one day and possibly two. I also want to get in my strength training, so we'll see how it all fits together. Weather plays a factor too, of course.

So as far as my nutrition, it's not been all that great. The past couple of days, I've been working hard to get in my veggies, but I've also let some unhealthy choices sway me. I've had scones for breakfast two days this week and today I had a big cookie after lunch. These things are not the end of the world, but certainly eating something like that everyday will definitely derail my progress. I'm playing the mental game a little bit right now though, so I'm trying to keep a simple balance between the healthy foods and a few 'treats' until I get a few things taken care of.

What the hell am I talking about, you ask? Let me share a little history first....

I've always been heavy. I've always had to fight my weight a bit. And as I said previously, I've always been an athlete. The thing is...even when I was STILL an athlete and doing way more exercise than I'd ever done previously, I was gaining weight despite efforts to lose. This started about 5 years ago. Right about the same time I started biking which was also about the same time that I stopped lifting weights regularly AND about the same time I started having hormonal issues. My hormonal issues stemmed from a fibroid problem. I had a few sessions of Depo Provera shots (BAD idea) and then got an IUD (after the fibriods were removed). The Depo shot really messed me up, but I thought that the IUD was a good thing. Since then...things just haven't been adding up. How could I be doing WAY more activity than I'd ever done previously, but still steadily gain weight? I've now topped out at 15 lbs higher than I've EVER been before. I've also suffered from some severe lower back pain that I was attributing to my fibroids. It's still there (and getting worse) making me worry that the fibriods are back. Upon doing a little research, I've discovered that the synthetic hormone in the Depo shot is the same as whats in my IUD (albeit in smaller doses). I read that this hormone often causes back pain and all of a sudden, the pieces and timing start to fit. This hormone also causes weight gain in some people. Bingo...another light on. So yes, I need to lift weights again and yes, I need to watch what I eat and keep up with the biking....but I'm pretty convinced that because of his hormone, I'm fighting a losing battle in terms of weight loss.

Because I still have this IUD, I've got this mental road block that it doesn't matter how hard I try, I still won't be successful at weight loss (I already know that it is difficult for me without hormone interference). So..besides the obvious back pain problem, I need to get this IUD out to solve the mental problem I'm having too. Anyway, this is partly why I'm not getting too worked up over my nutrition right now. It's just too much for me to manage at the moment, so until I get my IUD out, I'm just going to try to make reasonable choices and focus my energy on getting the activity levels back up to where they need to be. I will make an appointment to get the IUD out, but because we moved across the country only a little over a year ago...I need to find a doctor first.

Excuses, excuses

I can't believe that I only started this blog yesterday and already I've got to post some excuses!

So last night after work, we got home at a reasonable time (after going out for sushi). I cleaned up the kitchen, processed the milk (we milk a goat daily), prepped the coffee maker for the next day, packed up my lunch and filled my water bottle. I was all prepared to change for my workout when I saw that The Biggest Loser was on TV. I have a weakness for this show. I can't help it. So I stood there like an idiot watching the intro and knowing full well that I was about to blow off my workout. My H actually suggested that we record it and watch it the next day, but for whatever reason, that didn't sit well with me. I wanted to watch it NOW. So, watch it I did.

During each commercial break I got up and did one more task so that come morning, I could easily fit in a workout before work. I'd decided that 'athletes' workout in the morning, so that was going to be my MO too. In fact, I was kind of excited about it. And then it occurred to me that every single time I've been successful with weight loss, I'd been working out in the AM. So...that was the plan. Get up 45 min early to get in a workout.

Then my H told me that we needed to carpool (he had to go into the office when he normally works from home) and we had to leave by 7:15am. Crap. That screws up my plans, but no matter...I'll just get up earlier. So I set my alarm for what I thought was 5 am.

At 6 am when I was startled awake by the dogs barking, it occurred to me that I must have set my alarm for 5 pm. Yep, sure enough. Thank goodness the dogs barked when they did so that I could at least get the morning chores done before we had to leave.

But yeah, you guessed it...no workout. I still ate my healthy breakfast and I'm still cooking a healthy dinner tonight. And I'll do both my strength and cardio workouts tonight (no biggie) but this may throw me off for the week because I don't want to do two heavy lifting workouts in a row without rest - particularly at this early stage. How frustrating!!

Weekly Training Schedule

OK, this is my schedule for this week (adjusted to accomodate my laziness last night!):

Sunday	farm work
Monday	REST
Tuesday	CLX Burn #1
Wednesday	cardio
Thursday	CLX Burn #2
Friday	REST
Saturday	CLX Burn #3

CLX is a weight training program on DVD put out by Chalene Johnson. The system has three periods (Burn, Push and Lean) covering 90 days of workouts. I've already done the first three weeks (almost 4) of Burn, but since I then took a couple of weeks off, I'm repeating the last week before I move on to Push. For cardio I often ride, but this week I've got a conference call immediately after work on Wednesday and it'll be too close to dark by the time I get out to ride. I'll either dust off the treadmill that evening, or I'll pull out a video.

I also took all my measurements (and recorded my weight) as I began this program, so that'll still be my official 'starting weight'.

Start at the beginning

I've spent the last year of my life (and a bit longer), learning how to be a farmer and what it means to live a sustainable life. In this year, I have been working on my ability to do it all and maintain a balance. Can I be an engineer by day, a farmer by night and still not lose sight of who I am as an individual? I can't say that I really have the answer yet. BUT, in the past year, I've also learned that while I might think I'm still an athlete, I'm not. I've let age and life get in my way. This hits home pretty hard because I've spent my life as the 'athletic girl' and it's a bit jarring to come to the realization that this no longer applies.

I'm now in my 40's and like many women my age, I'm seeing how the body changes over time. Unlike many women my age though, I used to be an athlete. I used to play soccer, rugby and tennis. I used to lift weights and run. I used to ice skate, ski and swim. And in the past 5 years, I added cycling to my favorite sports. I even have a collection of workout DVD's that would put any library to shame. We have a treadmill, a squat rack, free weights and a full size club step in our basement collecting dust. I used to have a six-pack without even trying. I used to be asked to join co-ed work athletics because I looked like I played sports. I used to enjoy it.

Not anymore. I'm 35 lbs over-weight. I'm *almost* sedentary. I say almost because I still do quite a bit of physical labor around the farm, I did begin a weight-lifting routine about 2 months ago (that I've been slacking on for 3 weeks now) and I do still ride my bike on average about once a week. But I am no longer an athlete. No one would look at me and mistake me for someone fit. I've fallen off the wagon and it's high time that I picked up my lazy feet and scurried alongside until I can jump back on. I've slowly lost sight of one of my defining characteristics and admittedly, I'm feeling a bit lost.

So this blog is where I will document my journey back to fitness. Simple fitness. The kind that enhances my simple life and makes me a happier person. Come along and join me...